...two hundred and twenty three days into twenty ten.

• Maintain current weight (if possible, shed a little bit more). - Failed!
• Exercise at least twice a week, preferably thrice. - Failed!
• Finish assignments early. Don't procrastinate. - So far only completed 1 out of 8 but heck, it's still on track.
• Don't overspend each month. - Good girl.
• Don't be late for church service. - Almost there...
• Learn something new. - Half the year gone and still yet to be identified.
• Write 1 blog entry per week. - Failed!

There are 142 days remaining until the end of the year.

...testing, assignments... argh!

why am i even doing this??
why am i stuck in a small room while the sun shines outside?
why am i looking at the laptop when i can be seeing new things?

the time...
the struggles...
the pounding head...
the sleeplessness...

they will be worth it.
yes, they will.

...her unspoken eulogy to Uncle Brian.

Uncle Brian passed away peacefully on Friday night.

Who was Uncle Brian?

Uncle Brian was husband to Aunt Maureen, who is my mother's older sister.
He was a British man who had lived in Malaysia for a longer time than I have.
He was there ever since the beginning of me.

We called Uncle Brian a grumpy old man.
Why grumpy?
Because he grumbled about many things.
He grumbled about the mindlessness of wars.
He grumbled about the injustice and unfairness in life.
He grumbled about the wickedness of politicians.
He grumbled about lazy people.
He grumbled about stupidity in a person.
Of course he grumbled about minor matters as well.
But he had valid points to grumble about.

Uncle Brian should had been named Frank.
He was frank with his opinions.
He was direct in his words, no flowery phrases to make what he wanted to say nicer.
He spoke his mind.
If he disliked something, he would tell you.
That's why praises from him are pleasurable because you know he meant them. 

When I was young, I think I was a little bit afraid of Uncle Brian.
I only got to know him better when I was older.
Or rather, I believe he allowed me into his sphere only when he thought I was mature enough to engage him in an interesting conversation.

Unlce Brian was a great conversationalist.
He was witty.
He held his own opinions.
He had that infamous British humour.
He was very well read, i.e. intellectual.
He was open to debates although he still would end up disagreeing with you.
I will miss those conversations.
I had already missed them for a couple of years.

Uncle Brian did not like children.
He thought it a great injustice to bring a child into a suffering world just for your own gratification or need.
He advised me not to have children if I ever got married.
He was mortified when I told him I would like to have six children.
He was horrified when I said, "Four of my own and two adopted"!
Well, that was in my early 20s.
I had since changed my plans. :-p

Uncle Brian also gave me advice on who to marry.
Or rather, what kind of man I should not marry.
I would have wanted my future husband to pass his stamp of approval.

Uncle Brian said he did not believe in God.
He constantly challenged me to prove that God is real.
He believed that religion is just an institution, a desire for mankind to believe in something that would help justify unexplanable things.
I rejoice that he had reconciled with God.
I do hope to see him in heaven one day.

I never thought Uncle Brian would go away so soon.
The doctors gave him two months, it had only been one month, I thought he would last at least three months. After all, he was a stubborn man.
But I'm glad that he's now free from suffering as he had been plagued with several illnesses the past few years.

Don't worry Uncle Brian.
All of us here will take care of Aunt Maureen for you.

Goodbye Uncle Brian.
You will definitely be missed.

...fourteen days into twenty ten.

- Maintain current weight (if possible, shed a little bit more). - Checked.
- Exercise at least twice a week, preferably thrice. - Checked.
- Finish assignments early. Don't procrastinate. - Checked.
- Don't overspend each month. - On track. Not end of the month yet.
- Don't be late for church service. - Oops! Failed miserably the past two Sundays.
- Learn something new. - Hmm... still yet to be identified.
- Write 1 blog entry per week. - Checked.
:-)

...her many faces in two-o-o-nine.

Actually, I'm just playing around with montage/collage software.
Here are the results... click image to see the actual size.

...the apple of my eye.

Well, my darling niece definitely takes centrestage... all the time.

In 2007, she babbled non-stop.
In 2008, she breakdanced.
In 2009, she performed another dance.

Click on the links to view the videos my dad captured. All such precious moments.

...when it rains, it pours.

The weather has been weird lately. It rained and rained and rained. Stopped. And rained and rained again. Drizzle, showers, thunderstorm, cats and dogs, just name it all. Everyday for the past two weeks.

Am I complaining? Not really. Perfect weather to sleep at night. So cool that I did not even switch the fan on. Such great weather to sleep in the morning until I hate to drag myself off the bed to get to work. Terrible weather to get drenched in especially when I had to park out in the open. Wet feet in a cold office ain't what I like. Darn it, I can't dry my clothes. Oooh, with a nice cup of hot tea, snuggling into my blanket to read or watch a show.

Life is like that, isn't it?

When something happens, it swamped down on you a mighty lot at one go. When you are busy with work, you are also busy with studies, caught up with meeting friends, attending events and functions, and the list goes on. When you are free, you have absolutely nothing to do and no one to do nothing with. You get what I mean?

Am I complaining? Not really. It's great to be kept busy until you can't find time to do everything and anything. It's also great to have so much time that you do not know what to do with it.

Life is weird, in a nice way.

...flower moon, thou art beautiful.

I love a full moon in the dark sky.

Do you know that there is a traditional name for each month's full moon? In June, she is known as Flower Moon.

Flower Moon is smiling very brightly outside my lanai tonight. Don't you agree that she's so beautiful? Sweet, unassuming, peaceful... Her light is not overpowering but illuminating.

A full moon evokes romance. What's romantic to me is gazing at the moon with my darling. With just a soft breeze as witness to the comfortable silence of love.

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me.

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you.

Goodnight bright and beautiful moon!

...where did she disappear to?

Yummylicious Food

Edo Warp Station

Elsewhere in Ibaraki and Narita

Big Island

Volcano National Park

Honolulu

Pearl Harbor

...declaring April a "SSM" month.

It is ironic that SSM* month will be the same month I'm declaring my tax. Let's hope I get a tax refund but I doubt it, knowing that I am going to encounter the same old hassle and emotional stress of proving that tax has been deducted from my salary but not remitted by ex, ex company. Argh! But that's another story and I don't want to resort to profanity here (I don't and I won't).

So why the SSM month?

I've over-spent or almost over-spent my hard earned money for the last 4 months. No doubt December, January and February have the excuse of being festive months, but not March. Unless March is defined as March my Money away festival. Due to the generosity of a few friends (God works in wonderful ways - without declaring I'm broke, a few of my last meals of the month were "sponsored"), I was able to avoid a deficit. Yep, I managed to save RM3.90. Pathetic.

Therefore, the idea of SSM month is hatched.

Please join me in celebrating SSM month with no cost. Literally. Ok, that's impossible. Let's revise. With low cost. Minimal expenses. Freeloading??

Now let's see what's on my agenda for April.
- Watch Shopaholic movie.
- Get new running shoes.
- Attend salsa workshop.

Hmm... all involve money. Let's see what we can do in the spirit of SSM.
- Watch Shopaholic movie on Wednesdays or before 6pm for cheaper rate. (Better still, borrow the DVD from someone. Anyone?)
- Get new running shoes when there's a sale of more than 20% discount or only when my big toe is peeping out of my current shoes. (Don't buy branded overpriced ones, no matter how good people say they are)
- Attend only 1 salsa workshop. (Perhaps no salsa night out for April?)

Oh boy, this is tough. How am I gonna have fun without spending too much money? How am I going to survive April? Is it really that difficult to live in this world without money? Answer: Yes.

I really do feel for those who are hard hit by the current economy turmoil. I'm not well off but at least I'm not suffering in poverty. I thank God for his providence.

So, I now hereby officially declare April 2009 a SSM month.

Footnote:
SSM = Save Sue's Money

...what on earth is on her head?

Seriously.

What happened to you?

Were you going through some sort of phase in life that warrantied a drastic change?

Did you know what you were getting into?
Bet not.

No, seriously.

How could you even have thought about it?
Think about it now.
You, whom many had applauded when you finally took the step to neaten up your hair.
So that your hair is not a messy thingy on your head.
It worked fine.
It worked great.
Why change something that was good?

Vanity?

Disillusionment?

Seriously, seriously, seriously.

WERE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???

Now you have to bear with the consequences.
No crying over spilt milk.
I don't wanna hear it.
Zip.
Live with it. At least for the time being.
Get use to it, woman.

My advice: Don't look at the mirror.

...pom pom pets.... err... what?

Six creatures decided to dwell in my humble abode for a week before they are whisked away to new homes. Hopefully their new owners will cherish them.

...25 random things.

Since I posted this in Facebook, I might as well post it here for the benefit of my non-fb readers. So, here goes the 25 random things about me that pop to mind.

1. I enjoy singlehood a lot but I also want to be married. So how?
2. I am on a mission to achieve the weight I was 10 years ago. Support my mission!!
3. My greatest fear is becoming blind.
4. Why can't I not rub my eyes?
5. I like it when a guy acts like a gentleman.
6. I love to immerse myself in the world of books (translate: I love to read).
7. My feet wants to wander all over the world.
8. I collect postcards from different countries. Please send me one when you travel.
9. I wish I know how to speak Mandarin and read Chinese without learning.
10. I talk too loud when I get excited. My pitch goes up as well.
11. I love watching fireworks display in the night sky.
12. I dislike horror movies and bloodshed scenes.
13. I can't stand cigarette smoke.
14. I extremely hate cockroaches!!!
15. I have to remind myself to put on the virtue of patience.
16. I prefer face-to-face conversation rather than talking on the phone.
17. I am naturally shy (believe me!)
18. I'm bad at facial recognition.
19. I'm good with directions.
20. I can be quite unobservant.
21. When I can't count money well, it's because I'm physically unwell.
22. kwazyberry.blogspot.com belongs to me. (Duh!)
    
23. I have a bit of OCD trait. Well, maybe slightly more than a bit. Ok, quite a big bit.
24. I wish I can sleep anywhere anytime. Makes it easy to travel.
25. God loves me just as I am. :-)

...new craft ideas for the new year.

I haven't been dabbling with craft work for some time now. Mind you, it's not witch craft. A next door girl like me can only be associated with wholesome activities that foster creativity. (wink!)

Recently, I've been toying with the idea of using felt, pom-poms and pipe cleaners. For the clueless non-arty people out there, these three items are craft materials. I've thought of making finger puppets but it's been a long time since I've held a needle for sewing. Need to practice my blanket stitches. I've bought a few key chain rings, so maybe the outcome will be a key chain thingy? What about making stuffed mini creatures? I use the term "creatures" less the end products do not resemble any animal or cutie toy. The past few days, I've also been removing the labels off a few empty jars. Time to bring out my glass paints again before they dry up.

So, what should I dabble with? Any ideas?

Here are a few shots of my previous masterpieces. I realised I never did take a lot of pictures of my work before. Hmm... maybe I was embarrassed about their quality...

...first attempt at cooking fish solo.

You know how I hate fishy stuff and smell. Plus I never like to cook.

But I thought I should try to steam fish for dinner. A more healthy diet. Need to loose weight. DIY to save money.

Since I was already at QBM, I decided to buy cod fish (it was between cod or salmon) from Jusco supermarket.

As I was gonna start preparing, I decided to call mom for advice.

"Put spring onion," mom said.
"I don't like spring onion. Anyway tak ada. "
"Add ginger to take away the fishy-ness."
"Err... no ginger-lah."

I don't seem to have anything in my kitchen.

"Can I marinate with salt? I have black pepper and chilli powder as well."

Well, that's just what I did.

And my fish turned out all right. Well at least to my taste. :-)


And this is my dinner for the fateful day I steamed fish on my own.

What do you think of my feeble attempt?

...an interview with Me.

Today, kwazy berry had an opportunity to interview me.

Kb: Hi, I heard that you finally swagger into a gym last week.
Me: Yes, after many days, weeks and months of just thinking, mulling, nay-ing, and mentally self brainwashing, I finally did it.

Kb: That's great! So, was it a positive outcome?
Me: Definitely positive for the gym. They are profiting from me. Can you believe the cost of a gym membership???

Kb: Heart-breaking for your wallet. May I ask what was the final push?
Me: Well, I sort of gained 1kg two months ago and could not lose it.

Kb: Did you actually make the effort to shed the extra kilo?
Me: Hahaha... of course not. I was just hoping it would disappear by itself.

Kb: No such luck, huh? I can testify to that as well. I thought that your idea of exercising is only through dancing.
Me: Well, yes. I was only interested in learning a few kind of dance forms. The problem was salsa class has been temporarily paused. Good news is class may resume soon.

Kb: Aren't you going for samba classes now as well?
Me: Yes, I am. It's great and fun. You will love it too.

Kb: I bet so too. So... you signed up for gym... you are attending samba class... and you will be continuing your salsa class. Way to go, girl!
Me: Am I crazy or what?

Kb: I look forward to a new you.
Me: Gee... more like the old me of 10 years ago.

Kb: You have my full support.
Me: Thanks! I'll give you a treat once I reach my goal.

Kb: I look forward to that. Thank you for your time.
Me: See ya!

...remember my name, FAME.

In just this week, I got to know that 2 of my friends got a shot at fame (without the fortune unfortunately).

I have to mention them in my blog. If not, how else can I be associated with the "famous"? I do know of schoolmates and others who achieved national stardom but I wasn't really close to them. These two recent starlets are friends who I do chat, dine and well, occasionally do something else together with.

I'll give you a short personal introduction here. To read about their moment of fame, please visit their sites. Promise?

Ok... here we go...

Give a round of applause to... Chan Kok Fai.
Kok Fai is an old friend whom I got to know since ??? I really do not remember. He went through difficult times this year but still manage to remain cheerful. Must be all the coffee messing with his system. I'm happy that his passion for coffee becomes fruitful (an appropriate term since they are berries, not beans, right?) Read about him being cyberspotted here. After reading the article, I actually googled "coffee malaysia" and ta-da!

Now join me in standing ovation for... Sharon Tan Li Li.
Sharon and I met in university. We were coursemates as well as hostel mates. At one point we were even office mates. I'm proud that she has achieved so much in her love for photography. She shoots great photos (at least it's great in my unprofessional eyes). She even had a public exhibition of her photos this year (truly regret that I couldn't see that). This time round, she gets 2 seconds of fame appearing in a MTV. Watch it here.

I know I do have a number of friends who appeared in the media before, especially on newspaper. Hey, even my dad's face appeared in the Star Metro for winning a karaoke competition. I had my share of "fame" too. All in the past...

...falling in love with the queen's english.

I can fall in love over and over again...

...not with a guy... not with a girl either... not loving an animal nor an object...

... ... ... but with the english language. Mind you, not just any english language (not manglish, not singlish and not american english). It has to be the queen's english with all its rules, propriety and accent. Some call it the british english, some say it's oxford english, but whatever term it is called, I just love it.

I can't explain why I love it. Just like you can't explain what love is. I just do. I can sit and hear a person talk and talk in that english pronunciation and tone for hours. This recent spate of love affair rejuvenated when I had to talk to 2 English people over the phone for work purpose. One was a girl, and the other a guy. When they spoke, I felt myself going all dreamy eyed. I didn't want the conversation to stop. I didn't want to speak for fear of my voice disenchanting the illusion that I created myself. Sigh... it caused me to reflect on all those BBC shows that I watched. Remember dashing Mr. Darcy? (note to self: I must get hold of that Pride and Prejudice BBC series)

Then last week, I had to horribly bring myself back to the decadent language of pop culture. Yep, the american english. No offence, ok? I couldn't readily accept the fact that there are so many exceptions to the english language. Everything seem to be acceptable now. Double negatives. Redundant words. Short forms. I'm no whiz in the english language but I certainly pride myself in my ability to form good sentences and spell decently.

A few weeks back, my mom asked, "What's the short form for birthday?"
"Huh?", I replied in a confused way.
"I want to send a sms to wish my friend happy birthday."
"Mom, you can spell birthday as it is. Why is there a need to put it in short form?"
"Well, it's what people do nowadays, isn't it?"

I was utterly upset. The bee must have been retrenched in this current state of economy.

...being trapped by the rain.

Lovely Saturday morning

"Hey, what a perfect time to laze on my bed."

The light rain outside alternated with drizzles of water.

An hour later...

"It's so cozy, me bundled inside my blanket. Hmm... but I'm not tired nor sleepy anymore. "

Saturday morning, cool sheets, warm blanket, light rain outside, a book... perfect!

Two hours later...

"Grr... rumble... grumble..."

Ham, cheese, wholemeal bread, ketchup... no more salad, no more tomatoes, no more mustard. Sandwich + hot chocolate + grapes.

"It's raining now. Seem like it will be pouring heavily soon. I guess I will stay at home for now."

Three hours later...

3 episodes of Pushing Daisies.

It's still raining. It's raining heavily. It's pouring.

Gloomy Saturday afternoon

"I can't go out in this weather."

Four hours later...

Sunday School lesson... Checked.
4 more episodes of Pushing Daisies... Checked.
Billions of big drops of rain... Checked.
Saturday night out... Crossed.
Dinner alone... Checked.

"What's in my fridge?"

Two hours later...

Finished all 9 episodes of Pushing Daisies.

It stopped raining. Nope, the rain has just let up a bit. Oh, it's raining again. Hey, it's drizzling now. No, not pouring again! Yeah, light rain only. Whopee, it stopped raining!!

"Where can I go now at 10pm?"

Lonely Saturday night

Out of Apartment message:
Gone out grocery shopping. Be back one hour later. ;-)

...the one month gap.

Pictures tell a thousand words?

Well, see and say for yourself what's been going on in kwazy berry's life for the past one month.

Click on the montage to view a larger version.